Norsemen FC vs BB Eagles FC

Norsemen FC vs BB Eagles FC

No more grocers

Lashing it down with rain

BB Gun Fires Blanks

Dear Diary,

No more IKEA!!!! Praise the lord, if there is such a thing. What I ask myself when I wake up is what is there to do on a Saturday without IKEA? Turns out there is extra time to sleep and eat. Had another cracking little breakfast from the Grocer store across the road from the flat. Because of the extra sleep I was running a bit late so I quickly put a football inspired playlist together, put the freshly washed kit in the bag and hopped in the car for football. It was a bit of a muggy day but we thought what the hell “lets drop the top”. What do you know, as the roof is going down Bruce bloody Springsteen only comes on! The ‘Boss’ and football. What else is there to life?

Interesting sight on the way past Seven Sisters tube station. Old chap at the lights. Lets say 80+. He was sitting in his car stretched over two lanes doing what looked like trying to send a text message. He had all sorts of horns and swear words being thrown at him to get a move on. Did he listen or care for that matter? No is the simple answer. He was in his own little world. Good on him I say. I only say that as Thomas made a dangerous manoeuvre to get round him and that meant we didn’t get stuck behind the incompetent old fool….

Arrived at the home of Norsemen Football Club a little subdued, as I knew I couldn’t play this week. Everyone was in the changing room listening to the Scissor Sisters on Macca’s Ipod. They all rushed out when the balls arrived. We all had a little kick about. Me less so as my leg hurts. Ballers just stands at the side of the pitch, as he doesn’t want to display his lack of footballing skills. Then out of the blue an old face appears. Nicky bloody Morgan!!! They are all flooding back now we are top of the league….. first Ossie and now Nicky. They are both very talented though so I welcomed them both back with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Arda thinks this is gay. Arda has been misinformed of the difference between gay and friendly! I promised Arda I would mention his shot that nearly went in. There I did it!

Ok so they lined up as follows:

GK – Jacko

RB – Ossie

LB – Hempsey

CB – Macca

CB – Ballers

RM – Arda

LM – Gav Morais

CM – Tadd

CM – Pearo

CF – Nicky Morgan

CF – Jarrett

That left Reg and Erkan on the bench.

Oh yes I forgot to mention it was p1ssing it down! This made it really fun to stand by the side of the pitch and watch a game of football……

15.00 – Game kicks off. Norsemen start the better of the two teams. However the adverse weather was hindering their passing game. BB Eagles always looked dangerous on the counter attack with their two strikers both being physical and quick. What Ballers does lack in football skills, he makes up in sneakery. After about 10 minutes Ballers had identified the BB Eagles number 9 as a potential threat. What he must of thought to himself is “I am going to kick him.” Kick him he did. What Ballers is extremely good at is exit the scene of a crime very quickly. What was clearly a booking went unpunished as by the time the ref had spotted the foul, Ballers was already back in position giggling to himself. Well done Steven.

The number 9 then got his revenge on the Norsemen back 4. When I say back 4 what I actually mean is Macca. Macca had a good 10 yard head start on the BB Eagles number 9 to get to a loose ball. Macca thought to himself “there is no way I am going to run in a straight line to get this ball.” What he decided to do was take like a swing shot method, using the gravitational pull of the moon to try and propel him to the ball. This all clearly went wrong and the BB Eagles man got to the ball first. Jacko had to make a very good save at his near post to deny BB Eagles the opener. I think we all now the look on Macca’s face at this point. If you don’t then I will tell you. Imagine a young boy taking his sisters pet gerbil and putting it in the toilet to see if it can swim. When he finds out it cant he flushes it down the toilet to erase all evidence of what he has done. His mum is standing behind him all the time and he is correctly punished. That is the kind of face Macca had.

Norsemen had the two best chances of the half with Jarrett being denied of a deft chip over the keeper by the keepers out stretched arm. A very good save. The second chance was a ball in from lets say Hempsey for arguments sake. Jarrett found himself unmarked at the back post where his header was saved well again at the near post by the keeper.

Other points to mention in the first half was Tadd being pushed over in the penalty box, it stopped raining and me and reg played a bit of keepy ups.

Half time and the score is 0-0.

Don’t know what happened at half time as I stayed outside but I was informed of one incident after the game. Nicky Morgan offered some words of wisdom after the half time team talk “I think we need a goal boys.”

Second half began and so did the rain again. Second half was very stretched and a bit messier as there was some tired legs. Arda was bought down in the box in the opening 10 minutes with quite a brutal challenge. Ref gave a goal kick and why not! Arda had to come off and was replaced by Erkan. Jarret was put through 1 on 1 with the goalkeeper and was again brought down in the box. Ref gave a free kick and hempsey took a rubbish free kick that went wide. BB Eagles always looked like they could nick a goal on the counter attack, however saying that Mark only touched it once or twice in the second half.

Nicky Morgan made way for Reg as Norsemen went looking for the winning goal. Jarrett back healed an effort agonisingly wide. A little bit of frustration then creeped into the Norsemen play and there was some arguing. Eventually the ref blew his whistle and the tie finished 0-0. I think Norsemen deserved to win the game with the balance of play but at the same time BB Eagles deserved their draw with some solid play at the back.

I went in to the club house and was duped into staying and watch the golf. I hate golf! Then went to Winchmore Hill with Tadd and Hempsey and got smashed. Job done. Well kind of.

Good night world.