Weirside Rangers vs Norsemen FC

Weirside Rangers vs Norsemen FC

Saturday 26^th March

East Molesey

3.00pm

Uh-Oh, Weir in Trouble, Something's Come Along And It's Burst Our Bubble

Dear Diary,

This is it, the final run in for the league. For some it is the business end of the season, for others it is squeaky bum time! 5 games left and today’s opponents are high flying Weirside Rangers. 

Sooooooo...... I woke up and had a bit of breakfast whilst watching England lose at the cricket. Was a waste of everyone’s time and money. Thomas comes home from the gym and we set off for football. Today’s trip from door to door only took 2 hours so that isn’t bad is it....... In two hours you can actually get to Barcelona on a plane. Barcelona is bloody miles away. East Molesey is max 18 miles from Shoreditch.

Met up with everyone outside Vauxhall train station. We had a nice squad of 15 today. Got some skin off of Leroy, Tajae, Mark, Arda and Brad. Gave everyone else a hug. Ossie decided to sit on his own for 15 minutes, despite being able to see everyone outside. Odd lad our Ossie. 

Get on the train. As the doors are closing Reggie runs up the stairs and just misses the train. He has to wait on the platform with Ex Norsemen Daniel Gustav Ashley. They have a nice chat (probably) and then Reggie leaves Dan and gets another train. Reggie is growing in popularity but is still a good country mile behind Barry in the popularity contest.

Interesting point from our train journey. Muzza sat next to a mother and her two children on the train. At first the kids just stared at Muzzas head. You could see them thinking to themselves “ how on earth is his head so big?” After a couple of minutes they got scared and moved as close to their mum and as far away from Muzza as they could. After observing the children’s behaviour I then got caught by the heads tractor beam and started asking myself questions like “how” and “why” in regards to the massiveness of Muzza’s head. 

Got to the station and Hempsey instantly got us lost. Led us on a wild goose chase. We actually walked past where we needed to go and luckily bumped into Reggie. Reggie was getting out of a taxi. Whilst doing so another gentlemen got out the other side and immediately run off. Reggie didn’t know the guys name. He said he picked the un-named chap up from the station. More like he had attempted to kidnap the guy. The guy saw it as a good chance to escape his captor as there was 15 or so witnesses. Reg looked disappointed when the guy run off. The penny has only just dropped to why this was. 

Get changed in a massive changing room. This was the biggest squad for the season and yet the size of this changing room made the squad look small. We lined up as follows:

GK – Brad

LB – Muzza

RB – Ossie

CB – Floody

CB – Tajae

LM – Hempsey

RM – Marko

CM – Tadd

CM – TT

CF – Reg

CF – Leroy

Subs

Macca

Leighton

Arda

Thomas

Dan Cairrao

A nice welcome back for Floody. He has been missed. Not only is a very good footballer, but he is a blimmin nice chap. Apart from that one time at BB Eagles where he offered everyone a lift, only for him to drive off laughing. Marko making his debut for Norsemen on the right wing too. Again another strong turn out by the old boys. Even Radio managed to make his way over. This is one of the biggest commutes for Norsemen so their support is very well appreciated. 

The time is 3.00 and that can only mean one thing. Kick off.

Weirside had the better of the opening 5 minutes and used their long ball tactic well. I think they started with a 3-5-2 formation, meaning they had the extra man in central midfield. However after 5 minutes Norsemen had picked their game up and started attacking themselves, winning some throw ins and corners in the Weirside half. Leroy came close from a corner from the right. I think he hit the bar. He may not have, but I seem to remember him doing so. Norsemen then got a throw in on the left hand side of the pitch. TT launched in a throw, only for a Weirside defender to get a big head on the ball. The ball came back out to TT. TT let the ball bounce once and then had a pop at goal. The keeper got down well, but only managed to parry the shot onto the post. The rebound fell nicely to Leroy, who with an open net scored his millionth goal of the season. We go nuts and start jumping around like kids. Weirside 0 – 1 Norsemen. 

Marko is substituted for Dan Cairrao. Muzza goes left mid, Dan left back and Hempsey moves over to the right of midfield. 

Almost from kick off Weirside send a long ball forward. Floody got up well and won the header. Not sure where but the ref spotted a foul. The ball from the free kick was played out wide and from the cross Brad called for the ball. Floody could have headed it clear but decided he would leave it for Brad. The ball somehow made its way into our goal. Weirside 1 – 1 Norsemen.

Norsemen would have not fancied games like this in the past and would have just rolled over, but not this season. We went straight back up the other end and won a throw in. From the throw in Reggie hit a left footed hook volley into the roof of the net. We went mental. Great finish from Reg. I tried to celebrate with him but he ignored me and run straight for Thomas. The fact that Thomas had his personal body guards around him, meant that Reg couldn’t get close. Instead he jumped on Macca and they made out. Weirside 1 – 2 Norsemen.

The lead didn’t last for long however as Weirside start attacking from kick off. Weirside won something on the left, could have been a free kick, could have been a corner. The ball landed at Tajae’s feet. Tajae doesn’t like kicking it long, so instead started dribbling it out of defence. As the pitch was drier than the Sahara desert, the pitch was very bobbly. Tajae couldn’t keep as close control as usual and as a result was tackled on the edge of the box. The Weirside number 7, who was their best player on the day, hit a shot that looped over Brad in goal. Weirside 2 – 2 Norsemen. All goals could go down as being scrappy or lucky but as my Dad says “A goal is a goal”.

Both sides had half chances in the rest of the half. Leroy and Reggie both playing out of their skin upfront. Hard to choose which one deserved man of the half, if there is such an award. 

Ref blows his whistle for half time and we walk over to Thomas. He gives us a nice little pep talk.

We go out with the same side and start the better of the two teams. By this point Weirside are reduced to the long ball. They will probably say that all we have is a long throw. I am pretty sure I threw the ball about 40 times today. My stomach is f@cking killing me as I write this. That may, or may not have something to do with me throwing the football lots. About 20 minutes into the second half Hempsey played a nice ball down the line for Leroy. Leroy latched onto the ball and put in a cross. The cross took a deflection and spun up into the air. Because of the concrete like pitch, the keeper miss read the bounce and completely missed the ball. The ball bounced over the keepers head and into the path of Reg. Reg nervously tapped in from 2 yards. We went bonkers. All I could hear was Tadd shouting and screaming. He was so excited. Weirside 2 – 3 Norsemen.

From there we carried on attacking and Leroy had an excellent volley saved well by the Weirside keeper. With 5 minutes to go Weirside got a free kick just inside our half. The ball was floated right to the back post and Hempseys man nicked in to score a vital header for the home side. Everyone had given everything in this game and had no more to give after the goal went in. Weirside 3 – 3 Norsemen. 

The ref blew his whistle and the game finished a draw. Tadd was especially annoyed about drawing. It wasn’t what we come to achieve from today’s game but it wasn’t the worst result. Weirside are a very good team. 

Went back to the changing rooms for a shower. Wasn’t the right kind of crowd in the showers to do willy dancing. We had to share them with rugby boys and they are a lot bigger and cooler than football chaps. I’m not saying that they are intimidating; I just didn’t feel like performing for them!

Went to get some grub and Arda suggested we take all the food and go and eat it on our own. That is vintage Arda that is. That boy never fails to surprise me with his deceit and snidyness! Went and ate our sausage and chips and then decide to have a game of spoof. Not before Macca thought it would be ok to have a pop at little Gabriel Ayers. Coupe of people were sick from shock after Macca finished his rant. Bloody Northerners. The loser of spoof not only had to drink a shot, but also had to lie on the floor and let the first 3 people out of the game lay on top of them. The three on top would then take it in turn to say something they disliked about the loser. The first three out were The Chef, Phillip and Tadd. The Chef and Phillip said some pretty harsh things. Tadd is a pansy and just said “I hate war and just hope one day the world can live in harmony”. He is so wet.......

Slowly but surely people leave and in the end it is just Leighton, Tadd, Muzza and myself left. We get some carry outs and walk to the train station. Get drunk and talk about how we are going to go about trying to get promoted. Play some pool in Shoreditch and then spend the next 2 hours getting turned away from bars, because there are too many guys in them already. Brilliant!

Went home and went to bed early.