Norsemen FC vs Old Esthameians

Norsemen FC vs Old Esthameians

Edmonton Sports Ground

April 2^nd 2011

3.00

Mean Norsemen Don't Surrender Any Points

Dear Diary,

Annoyingly woke up early today. Couldn’t get back to sleep, so went downstairs, put the kettle on and watched some kids TV. Kids TV today is rubbish. There is nothing that even comes close to the likes of Super Ted, Going Live, The Racoons etc etc. They just have silly programmes. Got bored of the sillyness quickly and decided to go and lie back in bed.  I decided to make a new playlist for the drive to football. I started to put together what I thought was one of my best yet. Later Thomas would spoil the drive by skipping past most songs. He has poor taste. I have put that out there for everyone to read. Jeopardised a starting spot next week, but that had to be said.  

Eventually got up and went for a walk. Grabbed some breakfast and then it was time to go home and get ready for the voyage up to Edmonton. It was a nice day so shorts and sunglasses were put on. Got in the car and zoomed off to Edmonton. I say zoomed, it was must just safely drove to Edmonton within the speed limit. 

Thomas allowed 3 songs to be played in their entirety. This created an element of tension in the car. Despite Hat watch was over for the season, it is still nice to just have a fun game. The tension created by the track skipping meant Hat watch was overlooked......

Got to Edmonton and met Joe Morris and Ross Davis in the car park. Joe dished out a couple of hugs, whilst Ross just stood there smiling. Ross looked like he had ten too many the night before.

Entered the changing room and saw an old face straight away. Gavin Morais had returned from his South American expedition. He still looks like incredible Hulk, just a very tanned version now. 

Touched base with everyone else and then put the blue uniform on. Tajae decided not to iron the kit this week......

We lined up as follows:

GK Brad

LB Muzza

RB Ossie

CB Macca

CB Tajae

LM Hempsey

CM TT

CM Tadd

RM Morais

CF Reggie

CF Leroy

SUBS

Thomas

Leighton

Dan Cairrao

A very strong team this week. Not because Ballers was away, but because Reggie plays his second game in a row for the first time this season. It was a shame that Barry hadn’t turned up today. I think Reggie asked him to stay at home in an attempt to boost his own popularity. I don’t think it worked. 

It’s 3.00 and that can only mean one thing. Kick off. 

Old Esthameians lined up 3-5-2, whilst Norsemen went for the more traditional 4-4-2. The early proceedings were controlled by Norsemen on a pitch that was dry and dusty in the middle, but luscious and green on the wings. Norsemen managed to exploit the positioning of the Old Esthameians high positioning, with Hempsey and Gav seeing a lot of the ball out wide. However we failed to make any real chances in the first 20 minutes. 

On the half hour mark we made our break through. Coleman took a throw in the last 20 yards of the Esthameians half. He was looking for the head of Muzza. Couldnt see much else to be honest as Muzza was standing at the near post. The throw went over Muzza’s head somehow and looked like it was going off for a goal kick. Up steps the man of the moment. Reggie hurls himself at the ball and somehow manages to back head the ball towards the goal. Reggie somehow managed to put spin on the header. The ball span around the goalkeeper at the near post and landed in the back of the net at the far post. Not a pretty goal but they all count. Reggie actually confessed after the game that he didn’t even realise it was a goal. Norsemen 1 - 0 Old Esthameians

From here Norsemen dominated the rest of the half, with Bradley as good as redundant in goal. Despite the dominance in possession, Norsemen were unable to add any more of a lead to the score.  

We go in for a chat at half time. Thomas sits down and tells us a story about a Polish orphan. Tadd and Muzza have a cry. To be honest the story is very powerful and moving, but not relevant to the task in hand. Thomas apologises and then tells us to go out and do ourselves proud.

Again Norsemen start strongly. Leroy and Reggie instantly provide problems and questions for the Esthameians defence, which they struggle with. After 15 minutes of pressure Norsemen finally get their just deserved. After some nice play the ball arrived at Ossie’s feet. Ossie laid the ball on to Gav who went on a bit of a run. Gavin took on 2 or 3 players and then passed the ball to TT on the edge of the box. TT had a pop and it went in. To be fair the keeper could have just moved his foot one pace to the left and he would have saved it. Thankfully he didn’t and Norsemen doubled their lead. Norsemen 2 – 0 Old Esthameians.

2 minutes later and Norsemen secure the game. From a Hempsey corner, Reggie nods the ball down and Leroy pounces to lash the ball into the roof of the net. Goal number 10022033040405058693020201 of the season for Leroy. Norsemen 3 – 0 Old Esthameians.

Gav and Hempsey made way for Dan and Leighton. Norsemen continue to look for goals. Reg finally made way for Thomas and we looked to see out the game. 5 minutes form time Tajae has a small altercation with the Esthameians striker. There was some handbags thrown about and both players took a booking.

From the resulting free kick Brad made his first save of the game.

We see out the game and keep our first clean sheet for a long time. The Chef warms us down and we rejoice with pats on the back and high tens.

Now is the time for the most anticipated activity of the day. Willy dance time. Hempsey is so keen he tries to leave out the warm down. The Chef calls him back and makes him do some stretching.

Here is a photo taken from the showers, mid willy dance:

 

So we finish up with the dancing and put our clothes on for the walk to the club house. The 1’s and 2’s played at home today so there was a good crowd in the club house. Slowly but surely people leave and we end up with Macca, Ross Davis, Steve Morgan, Weaver, Alex Puchalla, Muzza, The Chef and myself playing killer on the pool table. Steve and Ross lose so they have to do a forfeit. It is then suggested that as we are at a football club then we might as well play football drinking games. The game we played was crossbar challenge. The voyage to the basement had to be done first to find a football. A lovely green and yellow ball was found and the teams were forged.

Steve

Ross

Alex

Me

Vs

Muzza

Chef

Weaver

Macca

Macca went first and just about managed to get the ball to the goal without it bouncing. Everyone else went reasonably close. Weaver decided to take his shot in his pants. He missed so it made him look like more of a dick. I went for power, narrowly missing. The aim of hitting it hard was to make the other team have to go and fetch the ball. Macca then had another go, which obviously missed. Up stepped Steve Morgan for his second shot. I goaded him to hit it as hard as he could. He did just that and smashed the bar. This backfired as I had to go and retrieve the ball that cannoned back past us. The other 4 mugs had to down their pints though so it didn’t really matter.

The rest of the evening went on in a similar vein until it was just Weaver, Alex and TT left in the club house. A first for myself and Weaver. We got kicked out and made to go to “perfect kebab” by Alex. Perfect kebab was anything but perfect. Didn’t play well with my stomach. I haven’t actually seen Weaver since leaving him on the train, so who knows what it has done to him. Cheers for the suggestion Alex.

Went home and spoke to the Gaffer and Lou for a bit. They kept on asking me questions like “how many have you had?” and “why?” and “when?”

I decided to avoid the questions and go to bed.